It's been awhile but I'll make it quick. You see here's the thing. Not enough of us have respect for ourselves or others. Now I have problem with this only for one reason, otherwise I wouldn't bother. The problem is, sex. Now I understand when people in stable relationships have sex at this age, I get that and I don't care. More power to you, but enough is enough with these sexcapade's. Honestly I'm ill. I realize, you say you'll do as you please its your life...this is just my opinion. Sex is something that should mean something...I've come to realize, not something that should be just done with whomever whenever. Have respect for yourself and your personal morals. This is not my call, its yours. I'm just disgusted with some people. I feel better about myself knowing what I haven't done and what the majority of you have. Trust me I've had the opportunities, but I have in fact stayed stronger than you all. Oh I promise you I will eventually, but as of now I'm single and not in fact ready to mingle but instead want a real sturdy relationship...like that of some I know. I envy what you have in all reality, congrads. I don't seek a relationship right now but if one comes my way...I welcome it. I'm happy now...with myself.

I don't really know what I'm going to write about. The world of politics has slowed down. School is just as stressful as always. Relationships are they same. I just wanna ramble blog. Things I've been meaning to get off my chest. Now, get this...don't think I don't know when people lie, you see I know when you lie to me, I just don't choose to always call you out on it. I'm a little frustrated with all the dishonesty but then there's something else. I want people to get stuff off their chest. I can read you. Just say it. I'm not going to ruin anything for you. I just wish people would be upfront and honest about things. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to fuck it up. There's reasons I do everything I do. I have the opportunity to date but you see I choose not to...not because of the person, but because of someone else? Get this now, I'm not going to be hung up forever...when I move on...I move on, I don't come back. Don't mess this up, it rests on your shoulders now, I tried once before. I'm not going for an award winning blog here, so it'll be choppy as hell. I just want it to be summer so bad. No school. I look forward to that. I look forward to being free. I just want things to be perfect come summer and that means setting that up now. My god I love this warm weather. It may be depressing as hell out but at least its warm. Ramble ramble. I'm done. I just like getting stuff off my chest. I feel better already. I'm a little crazy. Byeee

Sometimes you have something and its well complicated. Then sometimes you just of a lot to deal with. What happens though when you have so many complicated things. Such as school, god knows being a junior is hardly enjoyable. Then there's relationships...can one really maintain a relationship at our age? Well yes I mean some can but it takes a specific type of person. I'm someone who believes every person out there has someone that is essentially made for them. I know how naive that sounds, but over the years I've come to think that. I hate how a group of people say "Wow, he/she is perfect", someone is only actually perfect in one other persons' eyes. You see, now there are those who will get that and some won't...applaud those who do. I can't really maintain a relationship, never have...is it safe to say never will? Maybe I'm not relationship material. Others are. Now can you grasp that? I never really know if its my fault or the other persons and if you like it or not, its someones' fault there are no goddamn mutual break-up's. If you blame yourself its harder to accept. I'll blame myself easily though. I mean I'm the one after countless relationships can't maintain one and I'm the one that's needy and I'm the one that finds the problems and I'm the one that wants to fix things to where I take it too far. It's so easy for me to blame myself. I find that sad to an extent. Really though, should I be worrying about this now? At this point in my life should this be my #1 priority. NO. Yet it's high on the list...too high I'm sure. I've always dated my opposite, I mean opposites attract right? I've never and I mean never dated anyone like me. Is that where the problem is? I don't know. It's so easy to say you "like someone" I mean, how innocent that sounds. The moment you open that up to that person though is when you've taken a chance. To say I like someone how innocent I sound, like a school boy ha almost. I don't wanna take the chance and open that...I don't wanna chance a friendship or a reputation but in this town really what is a reputation? In this hell hole of a "town" what are the chances that someone like I (who is the opposite of this place...thankfully) would find someone...rather slim you see. Bringing me back to my point in my belief one person is "made" for you (when I say made I don't mean it as in god and blah blah blah). There's just stuff you see and in being cautious not to reveal too much I won't go on to why I have this feeling and why I choose to keep things to myself.
In other news though, all is well enough. Grades good. Friends good, I enjoy the new ones more than the old at times. There's a lot going on and I just wish to fast forward a 5 months to summer than senior year and beyond but really 8 years would be better to get through ha. I'll get through it though, always do...always have. Balance, Focus, and Persistence =) Sorry this was so long...its been months though and I have a lot to say. I'll try to do one about every 3 weeks now...last I checked my last post got 73 views which is surprisingly good considering I have no LiveJournal friends so its all local people ha...interesting =) By the way, good luck in 09..